


mad comet

by saiiph



Category: Metal Gear
Genre: (very light), Fluff, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, One Shot Collection, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-11
Updated: 2020-06-11
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:54:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,165
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24668713
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saiiph/pseuds/saiiph
Summary: "Why are you smiling?" Snake asks."It's nothing." Kaz says, still smiling.He doesn't know what tomorrow will bring to them, if a new scar or a new conquest. Today, however, is bathed in quiet glory.Collection of tiny one-shots I write from time to time; will update randomly. Spoilers for MGS4 & MGSV!
Relationships: Big Boss/Kazuhira Miller, Kazuhira Miller/Venom Snake, Otacon/Solid Snake
Comments: 9
Kudos: 18





	1. unfinished duet (venom snake/kazuhira miller)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [intelchameleon](https://archiveofourown.org/users/intelchameleon/gifts).



> these would have never seen the light of day if it wasn't for [ inteleon](https://archiveofourown.org/users/inteleon/pseuds/inteleon), who introduced me to the MGS saga, cried with me, laughed with me and beta'd this fics. you're pretty good.  
> i've caught up with the entire metal gear solid saga during quarantine and it has left me with an intense need of fluff.
> 
> beware for spoilers for MGSV and sweet, sweet man-love. chapters' titles come from richard siken's collection, _crush_.

The days unfold slowly in front of him, blank identical pages of the same book. Marianne comes and changes his IV, smiling softly - she just had her first child, she confessed him last week, and now she's back at mother base, “an excellent soldier”, he remarked, and she simply laughed and shook her head, “not excellent, Master Miller. Just good.” -; Ocelot storms into the room from time to time, talks briskly to him while listening to the mission's report in his earpiece and never stays for more than ten minutes; some older soldiers come to visit him, both embarrassed and deferential, and he cracks a joke to make them feel at ease.

Snake comes at night, usually. Mother Base is never silent, guards are always scattered around to alert the troops in case of enemy attack; but at four, five in the morning, when he's laying in bed untouched by sleep and shuffling some reports and documents, the door unlocks slowly, and he doesn't need to look up to know that it's him. Snake always stretches his hand towards Kaz, silently asking, _is it okay if i stay here?_ , and Kaz always grabs it, hard, _it's okay, it's always okay._

Sometimes - the best times - Snake is happy, as in, not as grumpy as usual, and drags Kaz out of bed to show him around the base. “It's finally coming together,” Kaz says with a puffed up chest and a certain light in eyes. “It's just as you wanted it.”

Sometimes - the worst times - Snake has just returned from a mission and hasn't even showered yet - he just bursts in and sits at the end of Kaz's bed, silent, inside his head as crowded and noisy as the battlefield, and Kaz holds his hand for a minute, an hour, the time it takes for Snake to ground himself and finally look at him. Kaz says, “You're here. You're with me, now”, his hand touching Snake's chapped lips, and Snake sighs and nods. Snake lets him hold him near his heart, lets him put his face into his hair, hurting all over, and Kaz whispers, “Welcome back”.

His arm and leg still hurt, from time to time. “You'll get used to it,” Snake has told him.  
“To their absence?”  
“No," he's whispered, “to the pain.”

The days unfold slowly in front of him, but now he has a purpose. He has a purpose and an identity, something to believe in - he realizes, as he watches the sun going up in Snake's room, their limbs tangled in the sheets. Snake lights up a cigar and passes it to him, his naked body an history of suffering. Despite everything, they're still stuck together - as if they refuse to die, to leave the other alone in this mad - and maddening - world. The thought makes him smile.  
“Why are you smiling?” Snake asks.  
“Its's nothing.” Kaz says, still smiling.  
He doesn't know what tomorrow will bring to them, if a new scar or a new conquest. Today, however, is bathed in quiet glory.


	2. saying your names (david/hal)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> spoilers for MGS4!

When people spoke of family, Hal used to think about waking up at night, gripped by a tremendous nightmare, fleeing from his room to his father's studio where he would catch him slouching over the computer, eyes glued to the monitor, silent and pale as a ghost, so absorbed in his work to the point of ignoring his son's appearance. He thought about him whispering, “Dad, i think i had a bad dream”, and Huey coldly answering, “Hal, now's not the time. Go back to your room.”

It's three in the morning, he's been trying to break a ministerial code to access the government's database for eight hours now – his eyes feel sore but he knows he can't stop, he can't, this is his task, this is what he was born for. Sunny's scream startles him. He jumps from his chair, runs up the stairs to find her rolling in her bed, her tiny fists in the air. “There, there,” he whispers picking her up, “seems like i'm not the only one who's having a rough night, huh?” 

She's barely one, so she doesn't answer, but she sighs and grabs Hal's t-shirt while he rocks her. Her weight on his chest is comforting and terrifying at the same time, a life so gentle and delicate blooming in this criminal hideout, in their no-man's-land, and he looks at her huge eyes and thinks, _how can i possibly stop the world from breaking her?_ , and before he can answer Sunny's asleep and dribbling all over his shoulder. 

He holds her like this for a while.

When people spoke of love, Hal used to think about obscene looks and obscene suggestions, murmured in his ear just seconds after his father had closed the front door. He used to think about violent desire, about lacquered hands unzipping his fly, Huey's broken promise blinking on _her_ ring finger, god, how ashamed he felt, god, how _good_ he felt. He used to think about kissing and tasting iron on his tongue, about coming and feeling tears on his face.

When he's sure that Sunny's not going to wake up, he puts her back in the improvised crib he made with an empty metal box and some bedsheets and walks downstairs to turn the computer off. He's not going to crack the code tonight, he figures. When he comes back up and gets into his pajamas, David shuffles under the sheets and holds on to him – just like Sunny did a few minutes ago. Hal squeezes one of his hands and puts it on his sternum. 

David is not the partner he expected, but, after all, he didn't expect to live the rest of his days as a fugitive, either. He's reverent and careful as only people who have experienced real sorrow are, and when he feels crushed by his past, David knows how to fish him out of it and pin him to the present. He always thought that love should feel like a punch in the gut, but love, their love, feels like this, like David's breath on his nape, a soft and rhythmical reassurance - _i'm here, i'm here, i'm here._

When people spoke of the future – Hal could not fathom it. If he tried to look straight at it, it would be like looking directly at the sun; he couldn't see anything at all and would be blinded with uncertainty. He still feels like this, sometimes, like he's fumbling in pure lightness, without any direction or polestar. 

But then the night comes, the reassuring night, and the only lights he can see are the glow in Sunny and David's eyes, both looking at him, looking out for him, and that's how he knows that he's alive. There are people looking out for him, and he’s looking out for them too.

When people spoke of the future, Hal could have never imagined it would be like this. Not even in his best dreams.

**Author's Note:**

> i'm posting about these man on [ twitter](https://twitter.com/glaukwpides)! we can cry about them together.


End file.
